Communication, an involuntary task I’ve got to deal with
everyday. So unconsciously I slur out the words that don’t need to be said, the
words that are laughed upon. I avoid everyone; no one wants to be a part of my
predicament. I scream words in my mind, so eloquent and beautiful that I
started walking gracefully as if I was graceful. I’d spent a lot of lonely days
with myself, enunciating beautiful words which I only used in my dreams,
impressing the world with my grace. But I was graceless. My friends thought it
was funny because they could not hear what I heard. And in that moment I wished
my father had taught me how to be bold. I wanted to be someone whose soul never
wavered, but it did, repeatedly due to the insulation.
I tried to say the words I immensely repeated in my
head while they laughed. I thought if I hurry up and speak fast, some words
might make their way outside and they would stop laughing. But to my
consternation, all that came out was a little puff of wind and some little
words that I remembered learning from my parents. What didn’t come out was the
billowing smoke and what they didn’t hear were the explosions of magniloquence
inside of me. I failed but gazed upfront, past them, to infinity.
