A formidable conundrum.

Wednesday 22 December 2021

"Hello. It's been a long time." Her phone flashed.

No sooner had she looked at her phone, than her heart skipped a beat. It was the same ringtone that she had assigned to his messages - keys.

Has this sensation been flowing throughout her body, dull all this time? Has it only just been magnified, like a negligent current amplified? Has she been impervious to how he actually made her feel?

A plethora of emotions assail her. She could feel her faculties rendered useless. The good, and the bad of lost connections, and the realization that - She doesn't own anyone. To reach out, or not. To give in, or not. Natural powers that perceive such sensations, flowing through her body, reveal a fact or two about what all of this meant.

She stretched herself over the turbulent waters, only wanting to cover the whole expanse of these emotions with her little body. She sat upright on her bed, contemplating, confounded, excited, awake - and alive. 

Wasn't it just yesterday?
What if I'd left everything as it was? What if I didn't bother to pick up the pieces?
Nobody would have said anything. People are always just silent spectators.
No one will ever compare to you - that was the magic of you. 
You made me a better person,
And now I'm struggling - to save our innocence, to save us from this cruel world.

So, the dismayed portrait stands still, collecting dust, while I feel the weight of it all.
My trust is broken.
I'm not a saint. You're not a sinner.
I'm a goddess. You're an atheist.
It was never supposed to work. 

When the world is sleeping,
yours is the only voice I hear,
explaining every note of the music to me,
I still cry listening to Roses,
thinking I'd be there again, saying I feel the same.

I miss you. But I don't want you. 
I still love you, because there will never be another you. 
I crave for the girl I was with you,
But I'm never getting her back either.
I miss you both terribly. So much today....that it hurts. 

I'll forever remember you, and perhaps, that's the only forever we're ever meant to have


একটা ছেলে মনের আঙিনাতে
ধীর পায়েতে এক্কা দোক্কা খেলে
বন পাহাড়ি ঝর্না খুঁজে
বৃষ্টি জলে একলা ভিজে...2
সেই ছেলেটা আমায় ছুঁয়ে ফেলে,
সেই ছেলেটা আমায় ছুঁয়ে ফেলে।



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