With love, daughter. (Unapologetically cliché)

Friday, 18 May 2018

You cuddled me and cheered me up. You told me that it's all right, again and again. In your arms, I felt the warmth of your love. I felt safe, as you caressed me. When I cried, you wiped my tears and you cried with me. You spent sleepless nights during my sickness and bad days. You're the method to my madness, the reason why I am so brave. You always managed to sense the desperation beneath my cajolery. You're the reason why I've taken several steps towards events where I knew I was surely to get hurt. Yet, you asked me to take a chance. And you were the only one who did, so I did, I got hurt, but I learnt to lift myself up. You never let me be the burnt child who dreaded the fire. You helped me gain ground. You're a Good Samaritan, you forgive so easily. You extol the person who has hurt you, and it's beyond my realms of understanding how you manage to do that. 

You must have been trying to prepare me for different situations that might present themselves to me in future, and I was benighted at times. Because I could never comprehend what shape they might take in future, and this is where I was really a child to you.

And the times I have turned my face away from yours might be innumerable. A hundred little conflicts, fights and wishes that entailed being born far away from you now seem evil on my part, because it was always you who consoled me. Oh, how I always thought that you picked me to pieces and projected your aspirations on mine. But it's not your fault. Everybody in this world is allowed to have expectations. I do too. And yet you supported me no matter what. 

Your beliefs were never my beliefs, I evolved and changed and yet you accepted me for all that I am. I never believed in your God- his infinite knowledge, his love, his existence-it’s always a big joke to me. Yet we understood each other and existed on the same ground, happily. Our subtle perceptions and abstruse philosophies learnt to intermingle, and it’s still a work in progress. I can only imagine somebody to love me unconditionally, like you have. When did it matter if it were an obligation or not?

But I know now that I'm not a child anymore; I can't crawl back into your arms whenever I feel scared. I can't cry to you every time things went haywire because the number is uncountable. I can't discuss with you the interminable fights I fight with myself. I can't bother you with callow stories of all the whippersnappers I'd to deal with in my life. You don't tell me anymore that I'm too young for love because I'm too old to not know. You don't ask me where I'm headed, because I'm too old to not figure out the directions to a place that's far away from home. You don't ask me whom I'm talking to (not until you see a smile on my face!). 

You know exactly how much pain I can tolerate as I say I can't be hurt. 

And you know one thing best, mother - to mollycoddle me. 

Oh don't I hate being so cliché? 

But take this as a spiritual epiphany. I've always wanted to be myself. And these are my very genuine feelings. Here's to you, before these words get lost in a cobweb at the back of my mind and I'm too dazed to make sense of it all, before I use up all the words to cook up stories that hold no face value, here's to you. 

1 comment:

  1. Dearest Tanisha,

    It is so heart warming to read your note for your mother. It is wonderful to know your deep rooted and crystal clear thoughts, these are a reflection of your persona which is evolving. It is so mesmerizing to fathom your eloquence, the incisive focus that you have exhibited through your words displays your approach. As the vernacular saying goes that successful people don't do different things; they just do things differently. How you approach a subject in a precision manner is the hallmark of a successful person.
    One thing that I have imbibed through my years is that a fine & illustrious person will certainly have passion, kindness and an eye for detail which makes him/her reach the goal of life in an accomplished manner.
    Yes, we realize that you are growing; by God's grace; the attributes that you possess will assist you to scale greater height in life.
    Keep moving; slowly and steadily; keep assimilating all the good things in life.
    The blessing of Almighty God (the invisible power that makes everything move in the universe including us ) and your mother, father and brother will always remain and we hope to see you rising like a star.
    Brave you should be; don't be afraid of failures; these are stepping stones to success. Somebody who has not tasted failure or defeat is unlucky since he has missed an opportunity to learn, to gain strength to cope up with failure, to gain the resolve to dodge the failures.
    Kind you should be, the strength that you gain by seeing the smile on somebody's face when he/she gets what he/she is longing for. It brings up positive vibes.
    Affectionate you should be- what you give comes back to you- is an old saying.

    We can only thank God for seeing our child blossom into a very fine human being.
    Keep going strong; Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.
    Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."
    "Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
    It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.
    "Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
    "Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago."
    "Once you choose hope, anything's possible."
    "Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value." -- Albert Einstein
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." -- Charles Darwin
    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched -- they must be felt with the heart." -- Helen Keller
    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
    "Failure is another steppingstone to greatness." -- Oprah Winfrey
    "If you're not stubborn, you'll give up on experiments too soon. And if you're not flexible, you'll pound your head against the wall and you won't see a different solution to a problem you're trying to solve." -- Jeff Bezos
    "If you're going through hell, keep going." -- Winston Churchill
    "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." -- Oscar Wilde

    There are lot of good things to learn in life; lot of things to unravel; keep going; the love of your family is eternal and will stay with you forever.
    God bless.


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